


#3 Metaphysical Awakening

by Treo_dishks



Series: XingMyeon short stories [3]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mentioned Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Mentioned Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao, Mentioned Kim Jongdae | Chen, Mentioned Oh Sehun, Mentioned Wu Yi Fan | Kris, Power Bottom Kim Junmyeon | Suho, Top Zhang Yi Xing | Lay, except the cannibal part, i dont know what this is, kinda like hannibal, psychologist au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 11:53:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18031259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Treo_dishks/pseuds/Treo_dishks
Summary: Psychologist - Detective AUDetective Kim Junmyeon achieves his awakening with the help of his psychologist, Doctor Zhang Yixing.





	#3 Metaphysical Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> This is heavily influenced by Hannibal (because I'm a crazy fan of that show and the book)

Pale skin. Grey eyes. Red hair. Puffy cheeks.

 

If Junmyeon had to describe his best friend, he’d use the same words. Now, as he straddled him, his fingers wrapped tightly around aforementioned friend, he’d use different words. 

 

His once pale skin was now painted with red, blue and purple. Bruises of varying degrees and cuts were all over his body. His lip was split and one of his eyes had been gouged, courtesy of Kim Junmyeon. His hair appeared redder due to his blood and his cheeks were no longer puffy, but swollen, given the fact that Junmyeon had broken his teeth. 

 

Junmyeon’s heart was beating a mile a minute, he could hear it in his ears. His chest heaved as he stared into one grey eye, and his fingers tightened further as the smaller man thrashed underneath him. He grit his teeth and put more force into his fingers. He could feel the man’s throat crunch underneath his fingers, and soon the light disappeared in his grey eye. 

 

Once it was done, Junmyeon loosened his fingers and straightened up. He stared down at the dead man lying below him, and waited for the guilt, for the regret and pain to flow through his mind, but surprisingly, he felt nothing. 

 

“Well done, Junmyeon,” came the soft whisper of Doctor Zhang Yixing from behind. The doctor moved around Junmyeon and stood before him. 

 

“I just killed my best friend,” Junmyeon muttered in a shaky voice. He scrambled to his feet and moved away from the body, his eyes staring at nothing else other than his friend. 

 

The doctor slowly walked up to Junmyeon and raised his brows at him. “You did what you needed to do. And you executed it very well, if I must say so myself,” he said, almost sounding proud of Junmyeon for doing it. 

 

Junmyeon glared at the doctor and pointed to his friend. “This was unnecessary,” he started but Yixing interrupted him, stepping a little closer. “It was a sacrifice that had to be made, Junmyeon. It had to be done, so that you would be allowed your awakening,” he explained in a calm controlled voice. 

 

Junmyeon felt tears sting his eyes and he sniffed. “Why did he have to be the sacrifice?” 

 

“He was far gone in his mind. He was beyond saving. His mind had been reduced to nothing but rage and revenge. He needed to be stopped, and you needed a sacrifice. A little improvisation, and both needs were fulfilled,” he explained, trying to make it logical. And it sounded logical to Junmyeon's ears. 

 

“Have you read The Iliad?” Yixing asked out of the blue. Junmyeon closed his eyes and bobbed his head. He had remembered reading it for his high school classes. “When Agamemnon’s army invoked the wrath of Artemis, he faced a lot of unfortunate consequences. In order for him to reach Troy, he needed winds. And for that, he sacrificed his daughter, Iphigenia, so that the goddess could be pleased and the winds would return,” he explained, stepping closer. 

 

“Except, he was later killed by his wife for that,” Junmyeon said in a hollow voice, opening his eyes once again and finding the doctor standing way too close. At this distance, he could see the thin pattern on his three piece suit, and the light strands of fur from his cat stuck on his clothing. He saw dark eyes hidden behind his glasses that spoke of millions of issues and secrets. But for the first time, they were raw, vulnerable, and Junmyeon saw something akin to pride and happiness in them. 

 

“That was the consequence of his actions. Lucky for you, I’m here to take care of any consequences you may face for this,” he said with a smile. Junmyeon stared at him with narrowed eyes as he took in his words. 

 

“Tell me, when you both were fighting, what did it feel like to you?” Yixing asked with a curious glint in his eyes. Junmyeon took a glance at his dead friend and closed his eyes. 

 

When they had started fighting, he had warned the elder to leave, but the other had not listened. He had accused Junmyeon of turning rotten. He had also called Yixing as a maniac and had asked Junmyeon to kill the doctor instead. But how could have Junmyeon killed Yixing, when the latter had promised him an awakening?

 

So he had refused to react to Minseok's pleas. It had been him or Minseok anyways. So he had fought back, and Junmyeon had fought harder. His moves were refined thanks to Yixing and his words. 

 

_ You are an unstoppable force, Junmyeon. _

 

_ Nothing can stop you, only your mind. Tell yourself that you are not defeatable, and your mind, body and soul will follow.  _

 

_ You are growing. You are giving rise to a new form of yourself. Shed away the weakness, and use it to mold a stronger form.  _

 

_ Once you are strong enough, your wings flourish beneath your bones. You will feel powerful, as if you can conquer the world.  _

 

_ Nothing can stop you, Junmyeon. Not me, not God, not anybody.  _

 

_ You will be reborn. Your weakness will birth a stronger you. Your awakening is close by. Don’t let anyone stop you.  _

 

_ You are ready.  _

 

Junmyeon had delivered punch after punch, kick after kick and he had reduced his friend to a whimpering mess. He had strangled him and had felt a feeling of freedom as he had watched the light go out in his eye. 

 

Now, he looked into Yixing’s dark eyes and felt a shiver go through him. “It felt right. It felt like a challenge. I had this thought in my mind, that I had to prove myself. I was scared that he would kill me, but your words guided me. I listened to your words, and I felt strong. When I was choking him, I could feel my bones shift and break, almost as if I was growing wings” he whispered, casting his gaze down. 

 

He looked at his bloodied leather shoes, and his torn pants and then gazed at his knuckles. The skin had torn and there were spots of blood. Suddenly, strong fingers gripped his chin and lifted his face upwards. 

 

Yixing had a triumphant smile over his face as he stared down at Junmyeon. “I’m proud of you, Junmyeon. Those wings will continue to grow and unfurl, but you must let them. Tonight, we will celebrate,” he said with a cheerful voice. 

 

Junmyeon merely nodded at him and then shifted his gaze to the lifeless body of Kim Minseok. “What of him?” He asked. Yixing shook his head and grinned at him. “Let us leave him there for the detectives to discover. Let them see for themselves, the rebirth of Kim Junmyeon,” he said with a smile. 

 

Junmyeon also smiled back, exposing his teeth. “Guess I’m not a helpless bunny anymore, huh?” It had been a silly joke of Yixing's. When they had initially started their sessions, Yixing would mostly refer to him as a bunny. A tiny little animal that burrowed and lived a dull life. A helpless creature. He had promised Junmyeon that he would change that. That he would transform him.

 

Yixing’s face turned serious as he cupped Junmyeon’s face. “You’re not a bunny anymore, Junmyeon. The bunny was just an exterior. The wolf was always caged within, yearning for release,” he said. 

 

Junmyeon gazed up at him from under his lashes and he suddenly felt bashful as he spoke next. “You helped the wolf to escape,” he whispered. His cheeks reddened further when Yixing gently caressed his cheeks. “I did. But I was merely the one whispering in your ear. You were the one who took control and did it all.” 

 

They stared at each other for a few more minutes before Yixing dropped his hands from Junmyeon’s cheeks. “Come on, I’ll take you to my place. Let’s drink and talk,” he said with a smile. 

 

The two men left the warehouse and drove to Yixing’s house in the dead of the night. The ride was silent as neither men spoke. 

  
  


Once they reached Yixing’s luxurious house, Junmyeon requested to shower and have a change of clothes. Yixing agreed and loaned a pair of his silk pajamas to Junmyeon. 

 

After a shower and having his wounds treated by Yixing, the pair stood by the fireplace as they drank red wine. Yixing had also showered while Junmyeon had, and he had also worn silk pajamas. The silk hugged his body in the right way and Junmyeon had to try very hard to not ogle or stare. 

 

Junmyeon felt like he belonged here, as he stood with Yixing and drank expensive wine from an expensive glass. He had always felt like he belonged nowhere, but Yixing had changed all of that. 

 

Doctor Zhang Yixing was a renown psychologist, and after Junmyeon had a series of unfortunate incidents at his precinct, he had been suspended and entrusted in the care of Doctor Zhang. 

 

Initially, there was hostility between them, but soon Doctor Zhang, or Yixing as he now called him, warmed up to him and was fascinated by him. He had often told Junmyeon how intrigued he was by the former detective. 

 

After months and months of therapy, here was Junmyeon, an ex-detective, now a murderer, standing by the fire and sipping velvety soft wine as he had a meaningful conversation with his psychologist slash friend.

 

“What was wrong with Minseok-hyung?” He asked as he gently swirled his wine in his glass. Yixing raised his brows at him and then shrugged his shoulders. 

 

“Minseok-ssi had lost his husband, Kim Jongdae, which I’m sure you know,” he said waving his glass towards Junmyeon. “He went into depression as he depended on his husband a lot. I tried to help him keep his husband’s memory as a happy one, but it turned out badly,” he said with a frown. Junmyeon was hanging onto his every word as the doctor spoke. 

 

“He murdered men who looked like his husband. His logic was, if his husband was dead, so too should any man who looked like him,” Yixing said, looking at Junmyeon. The latter furrowed his brows in confusion. “But what would that help him achieve?”

 

Yixing’s gaze turned nostalgic as he replied. “He did not want to encounter any person who looked like Jongdae, for fear of the pain that would return. He hated thinking about him too, towards the end. It gave him a great deal of pain,” he said in a somber voice. 

 

Junmyeon hummed and took another sip of the wine. "That makes you sad," he commented. Yixing looked at him with surprise and nodded. "It does indeed make me sad. Imagine not being able to remember your loved one. To think of that as something vile and painful," the doctor said, scrunching up his brows. He took a deeper swig and smacked his lips. "I'd rather not have any memories at all than go through that," said Yixing. 

 

There was a silence amidst them for a few moments before Yixing cleared his throat. Junmyeon looked up and found Yixing placing his wine glass on the mantle of the fireplace.

 

"I promised a celebration. It would not do good to talk about depressing things," Yixing said as he smiled at Junmyeon.

 

Junmyeon watched curiously as Yixing walked towards his vintage Victrola phonograph and wind it up, before he placed the needle over a record that was already in it. 

 

Rich music filled the large living room and Junmyeon felt goosebumps erupt as he heard the soft notes of piano. He could not help but smile to himself as Yixing raised a hand. “Would you join me for a dance, Kim Junmyeon-ssi?” He asked in a courteous manner. 

 

Junmyeon scoffed and drank the rest of his wine in one swig. Then he walked towards Yixing, placing his glass on a table, and took his offered hand. “You appear so courteous to everyone, but I think you are just old fashioned,” he said as Yixing placed his other arm against his lower back. 

 

The pair danced for a while before Yixing spoke again. “I am old fashioned about the things in my life. I’ve always been like that,” he said. Junmyeon laughed and looked up at him with a teasing glint. 

 

“Are you old fashioned in your romantic life too, Doctor Zhang?” He asked. Yixing tilted his head and smiled at his friend. “Hm? I’d like to think not. If you are asking about my sexuality, I’ll have you know that I’m flexible. Gender means nothing to me. If I find someone fascinating, I try my best to make them mine,” he said softly. 

 

Junmyeon hummed. He then bit his lip before he asked his next question. “But, you told me that I fascinate you. Does that mean you are interested in me?” Yixing gave no answer, but he merely smiled. Junmyeon winked at him and laughed out loud. He was a little tipsy after the wine he had consumed and his tongue was loosened.

 

They continued to dance for some more time until the record stopped. Yixing dropped his stance, and withdrew his hands to maintain a respectable distance between them. 

 

Junmyeon looked into Yixing’s eyes and found a longing in them. “You look lonely to me. Do you feel lonely?” He whispered. Yixing nodded at him and averted his eyes. 

 

“I have been lonely for a while, and yes, it is not a good feeling. One would feel happy if one has another soul to share their burdens and joys. Me, I've only had to share it with my mind. Tell me, is it the same for you?” He asked, raising his eyebrow. Junmyeon gave the question a thought before he replied. 

 

“I’m not good at relationships, apparently. The men I was with either cheated on me, abused me or turned straight,” he said with a scoff. He looked down at his feet and felt anger creep up. His list of ex-boyfriends was not a long one, but they had been failures. 

 

“Most of them are dead, aren’t they?” Yixing asked with a meaningful gaze. Junmyeon nodded. Then, he suddenly looked up at Yixing. There was a dangerous glint to his eyes as he looked at Junmyeon. 

 

“How did you know that? We never spoke about their deaths during our sessions,” he said with a wariness to his voice. Yixing’s eyes narrowed for a moment before he grinned at Junmyeon. 

 

“I would know them well, given the fact that I killed them,” he said like it was a casual conversation. Junmyeon felt like someone had ripped the floor from underneath him. He took a step back, startled with this new piece of information.

 

“Who all did you kill? Kris?” He asked. His eyes widened a little as Yixing stepped into his space. Yixing had his hands folded behind his back. His hair was wet and it fell about his face in a messy way. His skin was free from blemishes and Junmyeon was suddenly curious if his skin was soft or rough. Junmyeon mentally regained his focus and cursed himself was getting distracted with Yixing's looks. 

 

“Murdered him in his house and killed his lover, Huang Zitao also,” he replied. Junmyeon let out a choked sound as he heard that. “H-He cheated on me with Tao. I can’t believe you killed them,” he whispered.

 

“After him was Oh Sehun. He told me I was the worst boyfriend ever and he went back to his ex-girlfriend,” Junmyeon said. Yixing’s voice had a touch of anger as he spoke. “That boy was no difficulty. He did however speak a lot of unwarranted nonsense about you. He never expected my blow. Went down like a sack of coals,” he said. 

 

Junmyeon hummed. “D-Do Kyungsoo-” 

 

“Now that was a troublesome bastard to kill. He was probably a part of the mafia and he knew how to fight, but I was able to take him down. I managed to kill his men too. What did he do to you though? He said a lot of...disturbing things about you.” 

 

Junmyeon gulped and closed his eyes as he remembered the fights he had had with Kyungsoo. The young boy had a frightening demeanor and his masochistic tendencies often left Junmyeon in a traumatic state. “H-He was...H-he h-he was masochistic,” he whispered, his voice shaking. 

 

Junmyeon took a shaky breath and tried to gain control of his emotions, when he suddenly felt soft fingers card through his hair. He lifted his gaze up and found Yixing’s face contorted in anger. 

 

“I don’t have any respect for people who abuse their lovers,” he said in a low voice as his eyes traced the tears that dropped from Junmyeon’s eyes. 

 

Junmyeon wiped his tears and gazed at Yixing with a firmness in his eyes. The old Junmyeon would have wept for his dead lovers, but not the new one. This new version of himself felt elated when Yixing informed him of their deaths. 

 

He felt that they were undeserving of his company. His superior being deserved someone of equal stature, someone who had helped him rise from the ashes, someone like-

 

“I was going to ask you this later, but I really cannot wait anymore,” Yixing spoke hesitantly. Junmyeon looked at him evenly and smiled at him. It was the first time that Yixing appeared anxious about anything. “Ask,” he said in a soft voice. 

 

“There was a reason I killed those men. They were ghosts of your older self, and I did not want them poisoning your rebirth. I felt like you deserved someone better when you were reborn,” he said with a firm voice. 

 

Junmyeon gave him an ironic smile and he tilted his head to the side. “Someone like you?” 

 

Yixing was surprised and it showed openly on his face. He bit his lip and bobbed his head once. “You were right. I was fascinated by you from the moment we first met. You were powerless and broken when you first entered my office. Back then, I made a promise to myself to make sure you realised the potential you had. I wanted you to see what I had seen. The abilities, the power and the strength that I felt from you. I wanted you to see that, but now, I think you've seen it all,” he said as he gently took Junmyeon’s hands within his. He lifted it to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to his skin. 

 

Junmyeon observed him for a moment before he placed his palm over Yixing’s cheek. He looked into Yixing’s eyes. He was hoping to see anger, hurt or sadness in them, but all he saw was himself. 

 

“You are a monster. A murderer. You killed a lot of people and you manipulate your patients into becoming their worst nightmares. But you are also old fashioned, you love cats and are considerate towards children. You are an enigma,” he said, his voice raising a little. 

 

Yixing was staring at him intently as he spoke and he leaned into Junmyeon’s touch. “There’s a part of me that wants to leave this place, turn you in and run away, never return back. But there is this other part of me, this crazy side of me, that feels grateful to you. For many things, most of which I can’t explain. This side wants me to stay by you, and see what more I can unravel about myself,” he answered. 

 

Yixing was breathing heavily as he listened to everything that Junmyeon had to say. He smiled widely at him, revealing his dimples. He leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said of me, Junmyeon,” he whispered. 

 

“It’s the truth,” he whispered, closing his eyes as his heart beat erratically against his chest. When he felt lips press against his, he did not resist. With a whimper, Junmyeon embraced Yixing and kissed him back. 

 

Junmyeon clutched onto Yixing’s back and kissed him with passion. There had always been tension between them, and now it felt like it was dissolving around them. Yixing forcefully thrust his tongue against Junmyeon’s lips and the latter smiled into the kiss. He parted his lips and tangled his tongue with Yixing’s. 

 

For a while, the only sounds in the room were of wet lips sliding over each other along with sucking noises. Junmyeon gasped sharply as he felt Yixing bite his lips. He looked up at the doctor with a grin. “Your lips taste like madness, Doctor Zhang,” he murmured. 

 

Yixing only pulled him closer and whispered into his ears. “I hope the rest of me tastes like madness too.”

  
  


Their lovemaking was a speechless, freeing act. Yixing was very pliant to Junmyeon’s demands. The doctor handed the reins to Junmyeon from the very moment their naked bodies touched the silky sheets. 

 

Junmyeon had always loved to bottom. There was something very liberating in the way Yixing’s cock filled him. The only pleasure the other received was when he was inside Junmyeon. None of his other lovers had given him such freedom, such power. 

 

Junmyeon controlled the way his walls squeezed around Yixing's pulsing cock. Junmyeon controlled the pace, the depth and the positions. This filled him with an overwhelming sense of power. 

 

_**It was exhilarating.** _

 

Yixing was beneath him, his back to the bed. Junmyeon was above him, straddling him. 

 

Junmyeon’s face and his chest was flushed due to exertion and arousal. He had decided that he would ride Yixing. And the latter had gone with it, encouraging the brunette and even going so far as to compliment him. 

 

He moved himself, up and down, over Yixing’s cock. He had been surprised at Yixing's length and he wondered if he would be able to take all of him inside. But Junmyeon had always loved challenges. He had managed to take all of his cock inside and boy, did it feel full.

 

His own cock was hard and there was pre-cum leaking over his skin. Yixing’s face was contorted with lust and his grip over Junmyeon’s hips were firm. 

 

He rocked his body around Yixing’s cock and his entire being shivered from top to bottom, as his prostate got stimulated. He was gazing at the handsome man beneath him and he placed his palms against Yixing’s chest. 

 

Suddenly, Junmyeon wrapped his fingers around Yixing’s throat and lightly pressed his fingers. Yixing gave no reaction, but he merely smiled. “I could choke you now, and nobody would know,” whispered Junmyeon. 

 

Yixing only raised his brows and tilted his head, giving Junmyeon a lazy grin. Junmyeon held on for a little while longer and he released his fingers around Yixing’s throat.

 

He was close to his breaking point and he straightened himself, moving faster over Yixing’s cock. He closed his eyes and wrapped his fist around his own leaking member. 

 

His mind was filled with pleasure and his body thrummed with it, but his soul felt a sense of power. Junmyeon felt powerful as he rode Yixing. He could do anything to the man beneath him and the latter would let him, because  _Junmyeon was in control._

 

He suddenly felt bones creaking under his shoulders and he heard the soft sound of his skin tearing. He opened his eyes and gazed at the mirror hanging above Yixing’s bed post. 

 

Junmyeon saw himself moving up and down, but he also saw the beginnings of black colored feathers move upwards, twitching as they elongated and grew. 

 

Beneath him, Yixing gripped onto his hips and began thrusting upwards. Junmyeon let out a moan as the pain mixed with pleasure. His wings were nearly out, and how mighty they were! They shimmered like black liquid under the light and they spanned nearly the entire bedroom. 

 

He took a glance at the man beneath and he gasped as he saw Yixing for his true self. His eyes were black and his skin was black. There were horns that raised from his forehead, but all Junmyeon felt, was peace. And trust. He had accepted Yixing for who he was. 

 

That feeling, in and out of itself, was liberating for him. He closed his eyes and turned his gaze back to the mirror on the wall.

 

He heard Yixing let out a pleasure filled moan and felt him release inside him. This pushed Junmyeon over and he came with a broken sob. His wings unfurled as he came and it was the most beautiful sight he had seen.  Yixing was right. He could not have known how beautiful his rebirth would have been, had it not been for Yixing and his help. He closed his eyes and spikes of pleasure struck him in uneven bursts. 

 

When he opened his eyes after a minute, there was no wings he could see in the mirror. His gaze drifted down and focused on Yixing. His lust returned when he saw the awe on Yixing’s face. This man had given him his power back. He belonged with him.

 

“You’re beautiful, Kim Junmyeon,” Yixing said in reverence. Junmyeon smiled and leaned down to kiss him. He then rolled over and brought Yixing over him. 

 

He looked at him with dark eyes and he gently scratched Yixing’s skin. “Show me madness, Yixing,” he whispered his demand. 

 

Yixing got a dangerous look in his eyes. “See, this is why we will be different. We have seen the darkest corners of each other’s minds, and yet, here we are,” he said, breathlessly. 

 

"When I was above you, I saw it. I saw my wings unfurl. It was beautiful, Yixing," he said as tears stung his eyes. Yixing himself had a wide smile over his face as he heard this. "See Junmyeon? I always told you, didn't I?" He said as Junmyeon nodded. 

 

"I also saw your true self, you know. Horns, black skin, all of that," he said softly. It had been the words that Yixing had used to describe himself. Now, he had a curious look over his face as he gazed down at Junmyeon. "I accepted it. I accepted you," he said. Yixing nodded and his smile turned tight at the corners. 

 

Junmyeon smiled wider. He could not help but release a soft sound of pleasure as he felt Yixing enter him again. He felt his hands being trapped next to his head, as Yixing gripped his wrists and held them down. 

 

“You want to see madness? I’ll show you madness,” he promised. 

  
  
  


Afterwards, Junmyeon ignored the searing pain in his lower back and his thighs as he rested his head against Yixing. He stared at the scarred skin stretched over Yixing’s ribs and his bones. 

 

Yixing was a promise of new things to come. He had bid farewell to his old life a long time back. 

 

His rebirth had been more rewarding that punishing, and Junmyeon felt like he could live with that. As long as Yixing stayed by his side. He glanced up at the doctor and found him sleeping peacefully. 

 

He placed a soft kiss against his chest and smiled to himself. He was excited to discover newer shades of himself, and he knew that it would be an amazing journey.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is shorter than the previous two stories, I know, but I've caught the flu and I'm terribly sick and writing XingMyeon aus is the only thing providing me solace, so please, I hope you like it. I may not update for some more days, but let's see.


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